The Secret Habit of Sorrow by Victoria Patterson

Author:Victoria Patterson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: Counterpoint
Published: 2018-04-19T16:00:00+00:00

MY MOTHER WAS a Francophile, her grief from the recent death of my stepfather transforming into a zealous attachment to all things French, including her French teacher from the local community college, now her live-in boyfriend, a small misogynist who wore ascots and verbally abused her. Enzo also preferred Speedo-like underwear, the faint pattern of stripes visible beneath the thin cloth of his tennis shorts like the lines under the ice at an ice rink.

Enzo drove me to work in the early mornings in his truck. We wouldn’t speak and I’d watch out the truck window as the dark trees passed. I got rides home from the ladies, but I’d have them drop me off down the block. After their cars disappeared, I’d walk the rest of the way to my mom’s big house.

The night after my initial day cleaning houses, I sat across from my visiting grandparents at a restaurant. They were staying in Sun River. Grandma ordered beer, Grandpa his perpetual martini. Behind them against a mirrored backdrop, a wall of liquor bottles shimmered, amber to dark. Half my head went numb, my vision fuzzy.

Grandma’s eyelashes fluttered. She was becoming slightly incomprehensible; Grandpa cruel.

“I know why you’re cleaning houses,” he said. “So you won’t end up like her.” He beckoned with his martini-hand toward Mom, who held a napkin to her mouth. “You’ll end up like her anyways.”

“Well,” Grandma slurred, “I always believe in leaving a nice tip for the cleaning ladies in an envelope.”

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